How Much Can a Retired Wichita Couple Give Their Kids Without Putting Their Own Retirement at Risk?

“We have enough. We think. So, can we help the kids now?”

That is a pretty common question for people who have spent 30 or 40 years doing exactly what they were supposed to do. They saved. They lived below their means. They built a retirement plan that looks pretty solid.

Then they start thinking about how they would like to be generous with their kids and grandkids while they are still here to see it. Their children are doing everything they are supposed to do, being responsible, working hard, and building their own lives, and the parents want to give them a meaningful leg up on life now.

Maybe a son or daughter is trying to buy a house. Maybe a grandchild is headed to college.

Maybe the kids are doing fine, but $50,000 at age 35 would do a lot more for them than a $500,000 inheritance when they are 65.

People spend decades accumulating money and then sometimes become strangely afraid to use it for the people they accumulated it for.

So, how much can you give away?

Start with your own retirement

The retirement plan should set the limit.

Before giving away a meaningful amount of money, you need to know what your own retirement is likely to require. That means your normal spending, taxes, healthcare, inflation, market declines, long term care, and what happens if one spouse dies much earlier than the other.

You don't have to plan for every awful thing that could possibly happen. If we did that, nobody would ever spend a dime.

But you do need to account for the things that could reasonably blow up an otherwise good retirement plan.

Once we have done that, we can start looking for a surplus.

I use “surplus” as planning shorthand. It does not mean guaranteed extra money. It is the amount your plan suggests you can reasonably part with while still leaving enough margin for your own life and the risks you care about.

A couple with $2 million might have a large surplus. Another couple with the same $2 million might have almost none. Spending, pensions, Social Security, taxes, health, age, and what they want retirement to look like can make those 2 households completely different.

That is why your investment account balance cannot answer this question by itself.

The IRS limit is not your giving budget

This is where gift tax rules sometimes cause confusion.

For 2026, you can generally give up to $19,000 per person to each recipient under the federal annual gift tax exclusion. That means a married couple can generally give $38,000 to the same child if each spouse makes a qualifying $19,000 gift. (IRS)

But $19,000 is a tax rule. It is not a financial planning recommendation.

Treating the annual gift exclusion like your giving budget is a little like looking at a $30,000 credit card limit and deciding that means you can afford to spend $30,000.

Those are 2 completely different numbers.

You can also give more than the annual exclusion. A larger gift may require filing a federal gift tax return and may use part of your lifetime federal estate and gift tax exclusion. For 2026, that basic exclusion is $15 million per individual. (IRS)

For many Wichita retirees with $1 million to $3 million, federal gift tax probably isn't going to determine how much they can safely give their kids.

Their retirement plan will.

Sometimes how you give matters

There are also ways to help family members that get different treatment under the gift tax rules.

If you pay qualifying tuition directly to the school, the payment generally isn't treated as a taxable gift. The same can apply when you pay qualifying medical expenses directly to the medical provider. The payment has to go directly to the school or provider. Writing your grandchild a check so they can pay tuition does not get the same treatment. (IRS)

What you give can matter too.

Suppose you own stock that has gone up substantially over the years. If you give that stock to your child, the child generally receives your tax basis along with it. If the child eventually sells it, that old gain can still be sitting there waiting for them. Property inherited at death generally receives a basis tied to its value at death instead. (IRS)

So before moving investments instead of cash, there is another tax question to work through.

When would the money do the most good?

This is the part I think retirees sometimes miss.

If your financial plan says you have more than you are likely to need, you now get to decide what you want that money to do.

Maybe it helps a child buy a house.

Maybe it pays tuition for a grandchild.

Maybe you give smaller amounts every year.

Maybe you keep all of it because having a big financial cushion lets you sleep at night. That is a perfectly legitimate use of money too.

There is no prize for giving away the maximum amount your spreadsheet says you can afford.

But there also isn't much point in accumulating money forever simply because spending or giving it away feels uncomfortable.

If some of this money is eventually going to your children anyway, here is a good question to ask while you still can:

When would this money do the most good for them, and how much can we give without making our own retirement shakier?

That is the number I would want to find.

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This article is for educational purposes. It is not personalized advice, a recommendation, or an offer. Gift, estate, tax, and retirement planning decisions depend on your full financial situation and current law. Talk with your CFP, CPA, or estate planning attorney before acting.